Sad Alone Depressed
by S.V. 413
Summary: Under the façade of never-ending happiness and overwhelming energy, is a side of Honoka we never get to see.
1. Chapter 1

Sad. Alone. Depressed.

Summary: Under the façade of never-ending happiness and overwhelming energy, is a side of Honoka we never get to see.

"Ignorance is bliss."

Kousaka Honoka, if you ask her friends, is a girl that always has a smile on her face. Her overwhelming energy and never-ending happiness are two of her most noticeable traits. Also, when problems arrive, Honoka chooses to look at the positives instead of the negatives. She also brought 9 lives together, now known as μ's. Some of the members saying that was the best time of their high school life. Honoka could say the same thing. But, there was one thing. All of her friends were dating each other. KotoUmi, NozoEli, NicoMaki, and RinPana. It just made her feel... Unwanted, Lonely, Sad. It made her feel sick. How she was the 9th wheel of her own group. Whenever she hung out around them, she could just feel the awkward tension without even trying.

She wanted to get away from this. She wanted to get away from it all.

So, as the moon shines over the bright city of Akihabara, Honoka stands on a tall ladder, a rope around her neck.

She took out something from her pocket, and let it fall to the floor, as she stared into the moonlight, and took her final breath. Then she jumped, not before uttering three more words.

"Goodbye, cruel world."

The next day, when Yukiho stumbled into her room, she could only stare in disbelief.

Her sister, Honoka, was gone.

She approached the body, and found the note on the floor. Picking it up, she began to read it.

'To whoever reads this,

I just wanted to tell you to tell my family and friends I love them. That is all I can say, goodbye, cruel world.'

—

A/N

PLEASE READ:

If you have depression, please, get help. This is a serious problem, not something that you can just hide. Remember that your family and friends will always love you for who you are. If you have problems, PM me. I will take it down.

Hey guys! This is my first story, to be honest with you, I don't why I went for this kind of genre. It's just... Easy to do, I guess. So,I hope you liked it. I accept constructive criticism. So, see you!

I DON'T OWN LOVE LIVE!


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2: The Aftermath

It has been a couple of months since Honoka...died. μ's tried to find out why Honoka did what she did. Wasn't she happy with her life? What made her want to kill herself? Did she have a valid reason? If so, what was it? Were few of the many questions they had that wanted to be answered.

Actually, for the first few months, μ's was a wreck. Trying desperately to put a happy façade but, it just wasn't working. Every time they tried, they would just end up breaking down. They can't help it, their dear friend killed herself, without any reason why. It affected Kotori and Umi the most. Honoka was their first friend, after all. Was. She was their childhood friend. A person so close to them, died before she could even reach the age of 20. Whenever they think of Honoka now, it goes straight to the night they were informed she died.

*Flashback*

It was the night μ's decided to have a celebration for winning Love Live! they were supposed to meet at a very expensive restaurant, (courtesy of Maki) and have fun. Eight members gathered at the meeting place, waiting for the leader to come. They thought she was just late again, like always. 30 minutes was fine, right? So they waited a bit more. An hour passed, and they thought their leader wouldn't mind if they ate ahead.

Another hour passed. Then another.

Kotori's phone rings.

"Hello? Yes this is Minami Kotori." Kotori excuses herself from the table. She goes to the corner of the room for a few minutes. We watched as her face turned into disbelief, then shock, then heartbreak. Full of tears she ran towards us and told us we needed to go to Honoka's house. Now.

The ride back was suspenful as Kotori sobbed hardly into her girlfriend's chest. The moment we got to Honoka's house, Kotori immediately dashed out of the car and into her beloved childhood friend's room.

When they followed her, they froze.

Honoka, hanging from the ceiling. Her neck tied to a rope and on her arms were cuts that seemed not so long ago. On her table was a razor blade with some blood on it. The sight was...horrifying, heartbreaking. It felt like a dream. No, a nightmare. A nightmare where they can't wake up. Oh, how they wished it was like that. They'd rather have this be a nightmare rather than it be real. But it was, and now they had to accept it.

Kousaka Honoka killed herself, in her room one night, with no reason given.

Ever since that day, they made a promise to find out her reason. Even if it took their entire life to find it.

They had searched everywhere for months. They asked their classmates if they had seen any noticeable behavior problem, if she was being bullied, they checked the last note she wrote if there are any hidden things on it, they talked with her family, everything they can think of. But even with all that effort, they were still at square one. At the very beginning.

(line break)

Kotori, still thinking of a reasonable explanation on why her childhood friend died, was pacing around her room. Her room was messy, unlike what you would normally expect. Her bed wasn't fixed, there were pieces of paper scattered on the floor, her sewing tools, which she would normally keep in a bag neatly, were all over the table, she wasn't even tidy herself.

Kotori continued to pace around, but after a few minutes, she realized something. If she was correct, then Honoka has a diary. Honoka told her in elementary school when she asked. She said she uses it if she's happy, sad, angry, anything.

Upon realizing this, Kotori immediately tidied herself up and rushed towards Honoka's house. When she arrived, she sent a quick greeting to Honoka's family and rushed into Honoka's room.

Looking through all the drawers and cabinets, basically anywhere you can hide something, she finally found what she was looking for. Just underneath her bed was a orange colored notebook that had 'HONOKA' in huge letters on the front. Kotori sat on Honoka's bed and began to read it.

After a few minutes of reading, she read the final few entries.

She dropped the notebook in disbelief.

'No. It can't be...'

Picking up her phone, she dialed a number.

"Kotori?" A voice called out from the other end

"I found the reason."

A/N

...Hey guys! I really hope you like this! I really hope I did better than last time. Umm... I didn't really plan on writing a second chapter for this, but I was bored soo...

Once again I hope you enjoyed this, and here are my answers to the reviews:

NomadChild: First of all, I hope things have gotten better for you since then. If it hasn't, then I hope and will pray it will in the soon future. If it has, then good job! :D

For your constructive criticism, I've been trying to add it but I'm not sure if I did it correctly. I'm still experimenting and trying the things you suggested. I'm gonna do my best on this. Thanks for reviewing and giving feedback! I really appreciate it! :D

HDNeptunia: I did! :D I hope you were at least satisfied with this! :)

Thank you for reviewing!

With that, I'll see you next chapter, I guess.

I DO NOT OWN LOVE LIVE!


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